i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize