I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
