His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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