So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize