So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
