help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
