i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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