Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
