We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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