sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
