he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Oh god it's open bar.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
