the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I am spending my child support on dildos
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
