wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
