Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
