and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
so much tequila, so little girl.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
