nut hugger
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
