I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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