I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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