soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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