This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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