Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize