A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
What a fucking waste of an outfit
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
