glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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