mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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