Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
