I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
