My friends, they love my intelligence
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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