You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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