Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
