WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
