You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
