it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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