This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
