I can tuck mytits in my pants
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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