The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize