I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
pray to the hookup gods
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
