WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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