i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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