Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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