I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
