Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
