I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
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