Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
