the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize