I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
