Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
