Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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