I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
