Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
