I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
