I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize