so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Princesses don't give blow jobs
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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