dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
