I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
she smelled like a LAN party
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
