She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
time to smoke my breakfast
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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