Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
