Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
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