Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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