In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
