she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
