When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
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