Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
